Old bwogs

Aug 19, 2008
my birthday

so on friday i went home to the 'rents and got to hang out with lizzy for the first real time since xmas. it was awesome. we had pizza and cake, and honestly the whole 'me turning 30' thing didn't really hit until i saw that cake that dad bought with the '3' '0' candles on the over thick frosting. i got a little over dramatic and made a little speech to myself, dad, mom, lizzy, grammy and aunt cindy that i hope that "i still like punk rock, heavy metal, cartoons and videogames when i'm 60." then i blew out the candles. i wonder if things would have been different if i actually tried to list ALL of the kidcentered or frivolous type things that are super important to me. had a few brews and got to tell my aunt cindy who suggested to my mom that she could say "bugger" instead of cursing, cuz that's what her australian friend says...like my mom would ever swear...but she was contemplating the word and i had to explain to my mom and grammy and aunt cindy what buggering actually is. i tried to do it in the most polite way possible. lizzy and i went to salvies on route 1 saugus and found nothing, but later spoiled myself with birthday money and bought the new james brown dvd set and the jack kirby biography. finally saw office space on cable when my parent's dvd player shit the bed for me as it always does.

next morning, got up tired and me and lizzy just headed out the door basicly. had a lot to do to prepare for what i thought was gonna be the bash to end all soiree's (sic). some legal speed did the trick. party store and spencers gifts expenditures on stupid shit and massive clearing out of the basement. oh how presumptiuous i was. i really built this shit up in my mind to the point of not wanting to go through with it out of fear of it being too out of hand. at 11:30 dooley, then ella, then martha, then rayla showed up. then some more friends came. i thought i was nursing my normal djnight style fear ("oh no no one's gonna come!") which is usually a false fear. ben came. mercury and teddy. cooper and godard stopped by. once i found out that crystal wasn't gonna be there, i got this serious woe is me birthday blues that i was unable to shake all night. lizzy and michelle were there. matt and lv. and some folks from the basement. maybe the first time i've self destructively drank? mood got worse. felt really bad cuz i wanted josh and adny (my special guest dj's) to have a super awesome huge crowd cuz they deserve that and i know how good that feels to have. and i really dig their tunes, but they don't really quite fit into the tuesday night thing. they seemed to be having a great time playing to the crowd of ten dancers, but i couldn't help feeling bad. i got more drunk and more sad. ann came, and some folks i didn't know. everyone had a good time. corey brought some champaign....that was quite nice. i started laying around on the ground. went and listened to geo's baltclub set, spun some early 90s club dance hits, danced around. layed down some more drunk and babbling. lizzy took care of me. i puked over the railing of our porch twice. felt like a fool all night for planning the sure fire rager of the summer, wasting my day moving shit around. it was like the ego police went and put me in my place. but for most of the night i think i did okay putting on some of a smile.

madeline sent me a box with 30 presents which i opened the following morn (my real b'day) and that cheered me up a lot. then i went to work. and now i'm at work again.

i'm trying to block out the thought of geo leaving for two months so soon. it's scerrry!